Our Adoption: A Love Story

Every Valentine's Day, we focus on the relationships we have made with one another and go out our way to demonstrate our feelings for our loved ones. This year, I have a new person to love on: our precious daughter, Evie Claire. I am constantly amazed that she is in our lives, but because of all the holiday hoopla, I have been especially mindful of how incredible it is that we can call her our own. While most people know we adopted Evie, they don't know our adoption story and how we came to be blessed with her. We were pretty private about the whole thing (since you never really know if an adoption is going to go through until it actually happens) and most of our friends didn't know we were even considering adoption until after we announced her birth on Facebook.  Since it is Valentine's Day, I thought I'd share our love story, the story of how Trey and I became parents to the most amazing and wonderful little girl. 

Trey and I knew we were ready to start a family as soon as we got married. We decided to begin "trying" to get pregnant immediately, hoping for a honeymoon baby. After six months or so, we realized something wasn't quite right. After six more months of testing and fertility medication, it became pretty evident that we were going to be looking at IVF or adoption, both of which are extremely pricey. The more we talked it over, the more we realized that adoption seemed like the right choice for us. We knew that IVF was a risky endeavor since you are never guaranteed a successful pregnancy. Adoption, on the other hand, did offer a guaranteed child. While the process could take much longer with adoption, we both felt that it was a safer route for us, as well as allow us to provide a loving family and home to a child already in existence in need.

Our first step was to sign up for MAPP classes (Model Approach to Partnership & Parenting) through Partnership for Strong Families. We knew we wanted to go through a private adoption agency, but we weren’t quite ready financially to take that step. A private adoption can run anywhere between $10,000 to $40,000 - a hefty price tag for two teachers. We decided to save up for a year before making any moves, but in the mean time, we’d go ahead and take the classes and get our home study ready to go so we wouldn’t have to waste time later. The classes run for 10 weeks and go through the ins and outs of adopting children of all ages. We were all settled in for the long haul, knowing we’d be waiting a long time for the chance to adopt a baby.

But God had other plans! *Isn’t it great how that always happens?* Right before our second class, we got a phone call from one of Trey’s best friends. When he mentioned where we were headed, she was surprised to hear how honestly dedicated we were in our decision to adopt. It was an answer to one of her prayers, as well. As it turned out, she had a family member who was pregnant and pretty much convinced to put her child up for adoption. Would we be interested? Ummm….YES!  Of course, we were excited and frightened at the same time, with so many questions running through our minds: Could it really happen so quickly and easily? Would this birth mother really stick to her decision? Was the child physically and mentally going to be healthy? Could we afford it this soon? With many emotions spiraling inside of us, we decided to see what would happen and follow our instincts. We prayed for hours, talked for days, and began investigating. If this was going to go through, we had to work fast - the birth mother was already 6 months pregnant! Do the math, guys - that only gave us 3 months to arrange everything! It was a daunting task. 

Thank God for our friend. She acted as the go-between with the birth mother, spending hours discussing things with her and helping us organize every detail (especially since our birth mother was several states away). She also got us in touch with an attorney who was familiar with the situation and very family oriented. He became a saving grace as he was more interested in helping rescue a baby than pad his own pockets. While our adoption certainly wasn’t cheap, it was nowhere near as expensive as it could have been.

In the end, our adoption went off exactly as planned. We were even allowed to be in the delivery room to see the birth of our precious Genevieve. It was the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. I was the first one to hold our amazing daughter and Trey was allowed to cut the cord. The hospital staff was wonderful - we were provided our own room and treated as if we had given birth to Evie ourselves. I basically experienced every part of Evie’s birth except for the pain (and trust me, adoption provides an entirely different level of emotional pain to make up for missing the physical part).  Evie’s adoption was finalized in October 2012, just a mere 4 months after she was born. Though it felt as if everything was dragging for us, it was a relatively short finalization process.

Trey and I learned so much about ourselves throughout this whole experience, and became closer as a couple than ever before. I know some couples crumble under major stress and extreme emotion, but for us, it was an event that made us stronger. I have never been so devastated, scared, inspired, nervous, excited, thoughtful, angry, elated, and thankful in my entire life - there were days during her adoption I felt all of those things and more at the exact same time. It was the most difficult journey I have ever taken, but I wouldn’t trade a single second of it. I would go through it all again and more if it meant that the end result would be the chance to call Genevieve Claire my own. We fully believe that God had everything planned out and was simply waiting for us to take the first steps in the adoption process. Once we took step number one, He simply placed it all in our laps. She is the most wonderful, cherished, and treasured gift I’ve ever received and I am so incredibly in love with my little Valentine.